Positivity Written by Kimberly A. Goins, Esq.

Positivity written by Kimberly A. Goins, Esq.

December 16, 2013 at 3:12pm

Negativity to the left of me
Negativity to the right of me
Negativity in front of me
Negativity behind me
I’m literally surrounded
By angst, anguish and anger
I push past those as quickly as possible
Only to encounter brutality, banality, and boorishness
And I all the time am simply trying
To maintain my sane
Can’t have it “insane in the membrane” (quote)
But how to not have it and “them” affect
Me and “us”
Because as me and my baby constantly say
It’s “us” against “them”
Or us against the world
And though we choose to live in this world
We choose to not be a part of this world

That’s all easily said
But I still cannot stop
Cannot stop and cannot stop
These stray thoughts from entering into my head
As I see pain and sadness
And sickness and panic
And a blanket of unhappiness
Is literally draped all over some people
And I cannot help it
I cannot help it
I cannot help it
That I am still filled with compassion and
There is emphathy
Perhaps where there should be none
But alas I am my Father’s daughter
And so like Jesus said to His beloved
Forgive them Father for they know not what they do

And I’ve even tried
To not care about others
And I’ve even tried
To convince myself
That as long as I’m okay
That’s enough
Or rather as long as me and mine
And all who fall within my purview
And my circle are happy and fulfilled
Then that’s enough for me
But you know, that’s just a lie to me
Because truth be told I was not created to be that way

I was created to be more
To do more
And yes, even to love more
And so now instead of rejecting that task
And turning my back away
And shielding my eyes from their hurt
Instead I weep openly
With tears streaming down my face
As I sorrow and lament
Over the persons who are so filled with pain
That life for them is literally a living hell
And yes I wail for those who
Had so much self-hatred
That they hated me without cause
Yes, I am finally at that point
Where I say Lord, yes please bless my enemies!
Help them in every way
Because they are hurting so deep inside
And it’s a pain that has penetrated every pore of their being

How can I look at the daily news
And not be affected?
How can I see homeless people every day
And not ask myself have I done my part?
How can I ignore even that lost, lonely hurt person
Who seems to have it all, wealth and prosperity
And yet they would rather wrap their mouth around the barrel of a gun
Or embrace pain in the form of a needle
How can I not cry out for the person who says he hates someone
Because of the color of their skin
When clearly he hates himself more than he does them
After all, even Hitler was one of the most unhappy
And sad individuals that has existed

And if I forget that person that is on the sidelines
On the outskirts
Who is screaming at the top of their lungs
And yet nobody is listening
What kind of person would I be?
If I believe that one person can make a difference
Then why don’t I be about it?!
As one would say, be about that life
But I cannot admit that I, yes even I
Grew tired after years and years of fighting
And countless crusades
I actually thought that I could live the rest of my years
Behind the scenes
Without truly taking part in anything
Working and prospering financially
Working and prospering spiritually
And yet all who benefits from that is me
But that is not enough!
For one such as me
And so here is my first step
In the right direction